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  1. #1

    Dear cats and dogs...

    Dear Dogs and Cats,

  2. #2

    Re: Dear cats and dogs...

    Quote Originally Posted by kerryclair
    Dear Dogs and Cats,
    <All sitting at attention with ears standing up & whiskers at attention>

  3. #3
    LOL!
    OOPS!!
    Forgot the rest!!
    HAHAHAHAHA!
    Thanks Juanita, here is the rest:

    ----------------------------------------

    > Dear Dogs and Cats,
    >
    > When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not to switch
    > positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
    >
    > The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The
    > other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw
    > print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it
    > becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing
    > in the slightest.
    >
    > The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
    > Beating me to the bottom is not the objective. Tripping me doesn't
    > help because I can fall faster than you can run.
    >
    > I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
    > about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to
    > ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats actually curl up in a ball when
    > they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
    > stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that
    > sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other
    > end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
    >
    > For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
    > some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is
    > not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your
    > paw
    > under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
    > same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --
    > canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
    >
    > The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's
    > behind.
    > I cannot stress this enough!
    >
    > To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
    > front door.
    >
    > Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain A bout Our
    > Pets:
    >
    > 1. They live here. You don't.
    >
    > 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
    > furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
    >
    > 3. I like my pets a lot better than most people.
    >
    > 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter
    > who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
    > Dogs and cats are better than kids ... they eat less, don't ask for
    > money all the time, and are easier to train, usually come when called,
    > never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't
    > smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions,
    > don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for
    > college - and if they get pregnant, you can sell the children.

  4. #4
    LOL!

    I've seen this one before. It's a definite keeper! And so on target. :wink:
    Juanita (& the kids - Missy, Taffy, Smudge & Marmie)

  5. #5
    I feel the same way when my friends say that my turtles look ugly!
    Animals always become best friends.

  6. #6
    Guest
    Funny and cute! (Except for the selling children part, which I am against, but other than that, I love it!)

  7. #7
    Cub
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    TN in reality, up north at heart.
    Posts
    19
    Haha, that was great. I think my cats would like it if I posted that on our door. :D
    *Amanda*
    My Family: 3 Kittens, 2 Cats (not including my beloved strays), 20 Fish, 6 Betta Fish, two mice, and two hamsters. And all is well. :-D

  8. #8
    Yes I have seen this one before too!! lol I actually had a copy of it (the part where you say "rules for non-pet owners....)printed out and taped to the wall near the entrance of my place!!! lol...I just love it!!!

  9. #9

    Rules what rules?

    I've always loved this one. A friend sent it to me years ago.
    Jan

  10. #10
    I'm going to send this one to some of my friends through e-mail... lmao, it's hilarious!

 

 

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