Children & Pets: Avoiding Disaster

I can't tell you how many times someone has said "I want a puppy/kitten I can raise with my child so I know they will get along." I also can't tell you how many times a young dog or cat has been returned by its owner because, despite growing up with the children, he/she didn't get along with them! Think about this for a moment -do all people like children? Just because someone is raised with other children does that mean they will all want to run pre-schools and be teachers? I have plenty of friends, and I'm sure you do too, that dislike the screaming, diaper changing, time consuming babies that melt the hearts of so many other adults in the world. So why do you assume that your puppy or kitten, after having it's ears pulled, tail tugged, being picked up by it's back foot, and having objects thrown at its head will adore those little children they live with?

Some will. Some of these puppies and kittens are extremely tolerant and will adore those children. Others will respond by biting, scratching, and running for their lives. Let me emphasize - it is not the child's or the animal's fault if things don't work out when they are matched up at a young age. Children under the age of 5 years old do not understand that a puppy is not a stuffed animal. An 8-week old kitten does not understand that a toddler is not a tree to climb. As a matter of fact, 8-week old puppies think 3 year olds are terrific chew toys! When presented with this position, a gentleman I once worked with defiantly stated "Every child should have the opportunity to grow up with a dog!" And he was right. Every well-behaved child capable of discerning that a puppy deserves love and respect should grow up with a dog. This requires that the child be of an age where he/she is capable of understanding the animal is a sentient creature. Raise your hand if you really think your 3 year old will not run over to that puppy and "pet" it (i.e., hit it really hard) when you walk around the corner to answer the phone. Those of you with your hands raised either have exceptionally gifted children, are in denial or outright lying! (You know who you are!) Seriously, it is a rare child who can resist the temptation of a furry little creature, even when you have explicitly told them what they should and should not do to said animal.

Are there exceptions to this rule? Of course! But leave that up to the organization placing the animal. Some groups strictly enforce this rule because they don't want to take any chances. This is understandable when you take into account that they may need to place the animal for a second time when you are forced to return him/her because it just isn't working out. It is much harder to place a six-month old dog than an eight-week old puppy. Their decision does not mean you are not a good parent. It does not mean they think you are incapable of raising a puppy. It does mean they are more comfortable playing the "odds" than in risking the safety of your child and their rescued pet.

The point I am trying to make is that often someone gets hurt, and those of us in rescue have seen it happen more often than not. So…why choose an adult dog or cat? As an adult, it is easy to tell if an animal will tolerate the handling and playing of a young child. The size dog or cat you adopt can make a big difference as well. An adult lab is apt to tolerate the occasional ear pull since his "attacker" is 1/3 his size. A Chihuahua on the other hand will see that same toddler as a menacing threat and proceed to bite to protect himself. A tiny kitten will be hesitant to be "man-handled" by a child, while an adult 12 pound cat might not mind being carried around. The main rule is "go with your gut", and watch the animals interact with everyone in the family. Please also follow the advice of those with the organization. If they don't think a particular animal will be appropriate for your home, they have a reason for this opinion. They may have seen behaviors that indicate they are not the best match for your family that you haven't had the benefit of witnessing.

We are all working toward the same goal - finding loving, permanent homes for homeless animals. Together with your local rescue or shelter, you can find the perfect pet for your situation. And one last thought - You already have one or more children. Why on earth would you want one more baby to take care of?? Are you insane? Do you enjoy waking up at 2 in the morning to stand outside in the cold whispering "Good puppy…go pee pee now…I have to be up in 4 hours….?" If so, more power to you and please email me immediately. I personally prefer my sleep and need someone to start housebreaking my foster puppy! Happy adopting!

Christina Kilby is currently the Secretary of Valley Cats Inc. and has worked with numerous animal rescue organizations in the Los Angeles area. She is also the owner of Folk Tails, an online gift store for pet lovers that donates 10% of all proceeds to rescue organizations.

Editor's note: Christina has donated this article at no cost to AnimalForum.com. Please support her by visiting and purchasing items from her Web site, Folk Tails, so that AnimalForum can continue to bring you informative content.