View Full Version : Dear cats and dogs...

06-07-2005, 09:10 PM
Dear Dogs and Cats,

06-15-2005, 06:50 PM
Dear Dogs and Cats,

<All sitting at attention with ears standing up & whiskers at attention>

06-16-2005, 02:01 AM
Forgot the rest!!
Thanks Juanita, here is the rest:


> Dear Dogs and Cats,
> When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not to switch
> positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
> The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The
> other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw
> print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it
> becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing
> in the slightest.
> The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
> Beating me to the bottom is not the objective. Tripping me doesn't
> help because I can fall faster than you can run.
> I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
> about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to
> ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats actually curl up in a ball when
> they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
> stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that
> sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other
> end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
> For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
> some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is
> not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your
> paw
> under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
> same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --
> canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
> The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's
> behind.
> I cannot stress this enough!
> To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
> front door.
> Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain A bout Our
> Pets:
> 1. They live here. You don't.
> 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
> furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
> 3. I like my pets a lot better than most people.
> 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter
> who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
> Dogs and cats are better than kids ... they eat less, don't ask for
> money all the time, and are easier to train, usually come when called,
> never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't
> smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions,
> don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for
> college - and if they get pregnant, you can sell the children.

06-16-2005, 07:18 PM

I've seen this one before. It's a definite keeper! And so on target. :wink:

tigger the turtle
01-12-2006, 01:41 AM
I feel the same way when my friends say that my turtles look ugly!

01-14-2006, 10:54 AM
Funny and cute! (Except for the selling children part, which I am against, but other than that, I love it!)

01-16-2006, 11:19 AM
Haha, that was great. I think my cats would like it if I posted that on our door. :D

02-03-2006, 10:04 PM
Yes I have seen this one before too!! lol I actually had a copy of it (the part where you say "rules for non-pet owners....)printed out and taped to the wall near the entrance of my place!!! lol...I just love it!!!

02-23-2006, 01:45 PM
I've always loved this one. A friend sent it to me years ago.

06-23-2006, 01:15 PM
I'm going to send this one to some of my friends through e-mail... lmao, it's hilarious!

06-23-2006, 01:20 PM
I'm going to send this one to some of my friends through e-mail... lmao, it's hilarious!

07-28-2006, 09:26 AM
ROFL!!! My kitchen is in the process of being remodeled and now that it's down to just the final clean up, I realize my walls are really bare (I had one of those kitchens lined from floor to ceiling, 3 solid walls, of pure cupboards--not enough income to fill them all so I took some out). Anyway. So my walls need some "sprucing" up. Considering there is one spot for all the dog dishes, water bucket, cat food, etc, etc, etc I may just print this out and frame it.

That's too funny!

09-03-2007, 01:06 AM
LOL! Wahahaha...