View Full Version : Adoption AND grief

08-20-2009, 09:26 PM
I must get this off my chest. My cat Toby and my brother-in-law's cat Sashi mated. Sashi liked my house and attention better, so she moved her three kittens home. My husband only barely tolerates the 2 cats we already had so we talked to his brother and asked him to find homes for the kitties. But he didn't. Already they are 3 months old. The ASPCA gave me a 50/50 chance of adoption. That was no good for me. My friends didn't want cats and then my in law said he would "throw them away".

So last Saturday, I put two of the kittens in a carrier. The other one wasn't around. My heart was heavy because I already got to love them and know them. They were so trusting before and now they were scared. I sat by a roadside with a sign offering free kittens.

After only 20 minutes, a family stopped and asked if I had a male. The lady said she had two more cats at home. She asked his name after admiring him and told me she would keep his name. I begged her to love him and take care of him. When they started the car, I wanted to run after them and take my beautiful cat back! But I watched them leave and I just sat there crying. Before the hour was up, a young woman saw my little female kitty, so tiny and scared. She also had more cats at home. Her father told me it was admirable of me to offer them instead of abandoning them. They too would keep her name. The father carried her away, giving her kisses. She looked at me, terrified and so sad. I felt so guilty. I left and had to stop because I couldn't drive cause I kept crying.

Is this normal? I still feel so depressed even though others tell me that it was right to find them homes.

06-16-2011, 09:32 PM
When a child enters your home, whether through adoption or foster care, they come with a tremendous amount of grief and loss. Losses that include birth parents, extended family, home, pets, neighborhoods, schools, friends, treasured belongings, and in some cases culture.
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